That Japanese Guy.


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My whole expression. 

 OKAY I’M JUST SO EXCITED RN I’M FREAKING MAD TYPING OK? 

So. Uhm. Where should I start? 

((You know what self, fuck this, just type whatever is in your mind dumbass.))

 Yesterday there’s this japanese guy who came to my school. He’s here for volunteering–no shit, what do you expect? Whoring himself out? His arrival was delayed for 4 days ((you shitfuck thanks for making my hope gone with the wind)) and yeah finally he came yesterday. Right when I was enjoying my lunch.

I was eating and he came to my class like it’s no big deal. 

He made me choke. 

That’s unforgivable sin man. 

Practically every girls happened to be there screaming and flailing and probably creaming their panties because as embarrassing as it is, I admit that he looks… shiny. I’m not even joking. His skin is just shiny. And he also got that bishonen looks going on so I kind of understand. And before you misunderstand I’m NOT interested. There! >:c 

He has bleached hair with seriously white teeth (he’s studying dental jfc), fair skin with even FAIRER and flawless face omg i’m dying here i want ur skin GIVE IT TO ME AS COMPENSATION FOR MAKING ME CHOKE GDI MY PRECIOUS BRUNCH.   

The second he stepped his sorry ass in my classroom everyone is surrounding him and all have their rape face on ((no jfc I’m serious here)) they MADE ME SCARED AND HONESTLY I LOSE ALL APPETITE I HAVE ;n; I swear they’re so scary like everyone wants to molest him so bad even one girl openly confessed ((in bahasa)) that she wants to molest the hell out of him zomg why this happening to me why I should witness this jUST wHYY

Thankfully he didn’t stay long because I’m so ready to throw my lunchbox to the basketball field right beside the classroom and cry because I’ve lost appetite to my brunch and cry asking why I should experience this /WAILS. 

After he get the hell out of my classroom everyone’s like flailing and screaming confessing their love and how quality Hiroki is. THE 2ND HAND EMBARRASSMENT IS JUST TOO HIGH U KNO I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIS FACE.

Poor lad but I still don’t forgive him for making me choke my brunch >:c

 And today I got to school pretty early. The class is practically a mess so I volunteered cleaning it. My back hurt because too much bending erk– ANYWAY I finished it pretty quickly and decided to go to IPA-1 class, looking for my friend but she wasn’t there atm so I went to the canteen buying full cream milk. 

And guess what, by the time I got to class, there were already HIM with seriously annoying senpais and two of my classmate FREAKING INTERROGATING HIM with okay-ish ((read: ugly)) attempt at English. I could see that he’s nervous and everyone is like looking at him like he’s a good looking looney. The heavy breathing is just too much and not to mention that today is fucking hot. THEY’RE STEALING THAT POOR LAD SPACE AND OXYGEN. 

Time passes and more people coming in to my class, stealing all oxygen making me claustrophobic and hot and annoying me to no end with their stupid sounding english and wtf remarks. I just sat quietly in my seat, trying to read Raditya Dika’s book but failed because of their loud conversations and the secondhand embarrassment they emits from idiotic comments.

Everyone’s trying too hard it’s so embarrassing I had to slap my right ear with that book.    

Thankfully there’re some sane people who don’t even bother talking to him with almost same reason with me: everyone who gathered around him wants his attention, leaving no room to us to fucking talk with him even for a second ((Yes I’m seeing you whoring-for-attention senpais.)). Except I actually can mingle while they’re…. have some problem regarding people’s here. 

Fucking retarded elitists. 

It’s not until the 1st break that I got chance talking to him. I was tailing my friends ((who’s also whoring for his attention ha)) to the senpais’ class because he was there atm. All girls surrounding him and all of the girls is like flailing and saying “HE MAKES ME MELTED” in high-pitched voices and claiming he’s their husband like wow can you even be grosser than this ew peasants. I was reading his book quietly ((again)) because there’s too much people surrounding him and I don’t want to steal his oxygen ((I kno I’m very considerate ty.)) after all I won’t have any chance to talk to him. 

Anyway during that talk he told the guys that he has a car that costs around $50000~$60000 and boasting about what the car got but apparently the guys are too dumb to understand so they just nodded like a donkey. The girls are still flailing and fangirling and had their rape face on ((jfc)) while saying that he’s handsome and what a cool car he got there.  

Then the crowds got bored and finally there were only us, Language Class students left in the classroom. One of the senpai ushered him to sit on the teacher’s chair ((lol)). He pulled out his phone–everyone’s ohh’s and ahh’s-ing because they’re too peasant that it’s their first time to see iPhone and showed us his photos; when he was in holiday in Hawaii with his friends ((which is pretty cute tbh)), his sister’s photos, his cousin’s marriage photos, his house’s photos ((IT’S BIG)), his love which he’s too scared to confess to ((he doesn’t love her anymore)), Arashi’s member photo, CR7 photos, and fucking Miranda Kerr HE FUCKING LIKES MIRANDA KERR BLESS YOU FOR HAVING GOOD TASTE. 

He kept saying that all of his guy friends are handsome and he’s the ugly duckling omfg I almost thought that he’s gay because he doesn’t even comment on the girls’ picture like it doesn’t make his dick stir but then he said HE’S NOT GAY man that’s throws me out of the window :ccc

He told us that he likes to cook and it seems that he loves European culinary. He loves to cook spaghetti and eating pizza like there’s gazillion of pizza photos on his iPhone like wow. 

All’s going well when we were having conversation because BLESS HIS ENGLISH like omfg that’s the most beautiful english that I’ve ever heard from a japanese cause the last two’s english is like ugh i dont even understand what she’s trying to convey not to mention that their pronunciation is questionable and to make it all worse they SPEAK TOO SOFTLY JFC I DON’T EVEN. We talked a lot atm and I’ve never been so grateful that I can english wwwww that’s the best feeling man. THAT’S WHY KIDS, LEARN LANGUAGES! THEY’RE IMPORTANT OK. 

Anyway during the talk he kept looking at me when he didn’t understand what others’ meant GDI STOP I CANT SEE YOUR FACE THE SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT IS TOO HIGH STOP 

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i’m sorry ok. not really. 

Then because of the weather is so hot we decided to usher him out hoping we’ll get some wind to soothe this motherfucking heat then that’s when everyone flocks him, asking to take picture with them and then someone dragged him to wherever. But he’s kind enough to left us some candy….. which turned out to be gummy bears. Yuck. 

Also thanks to him the flag ceremony practice that was being held is suddenly dropped. Everyone’s flocking him ((like always)) and showed him that weird dances. I facepalmed. Hard. It’s hurts. 

Then he disappeared to somewhere, until a girl from my class came to the senpais’ class telling us that he’s in canteen eating something before went there again. I raised my eyebrow at this. Will he be ok? ((Please don’t)). 

Cause of the freaking hot weather I decided to get up on my ass and walk to the canteen to get some cold water. I saw him, talking to the previous girl and I heard that he’s complimenting one of the girls ((aww)) then walked out. I followed them and back-slapped one of my friend who happens to be there. She badly wants to take picture with him it makes me slapped her back again. Dasar alay.

In the end they did take picture together and zomg the difference //FUCKING SNICKERS. 

We went back to the class. It’s getting hotter to the point he asked us if it’s okay to wear tanktop to school. ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME NO. No. No. No. NO. We don’t want massive blood flood thank you. Then one of the senpais asked him to take a walk around in the school area. Then we passed the basketball field where the boys were playing basketball. The following is pretty much expected; he unbutton his button down shirt and joined them.

The girls are practically approaching the basket field and fucking yelling for him. Who knows the short japanese guy has a pretty impressive muscle? And man, they do crazy things; even yelling for him is not enough–some are FUCKING SMELLING HIS SHIRT LORD BYE I’M DONE.

By the time he finished playing he’s literally looks like just stepped out of the shower. He’s drenched in my tears sweats and damn I can count the amount of the wet panties that present at that field. 

WELL, MOVED ON. 

After the basketball thingie (and countless of taking picture together and some candid pictures of his muscle) he bid goodbye to the dejected fangirls and went to the west part (which is only filled by labs and more field) of the school with us. It’s just the 4 of us ((yess no more lack of oxygen)). We showed him the coconuts tree ((he’s very excited about it)) and other trees that probably isn’t available in Japan. He said he loves guava a lot!!111

Then we showed him the field and then went back to the class to retrieve our belonging. Apparently the senpais are planning on taking him to a trip to a park. I decided to tail because why the fuck not?

Two of my classmates also planned on tagging along but because of some personal reasons ((idk are they jealous??)) they decided to just go home.

Stupid decision.

The only one left is me because really, I have no shit to do in home and I’m not stupid enough. ‘Sides, I’ve make a promise, it’d be bad if I don’t show up. And also bonding tiem with the senpais and him WHY THE FUCK NOT?

 They were eating when I showed up. Glad to see that they weren’t finished yet. Idk man I don’t even eat there. Then another senpai came in looking sheepishly. He suddenly said, “Wow you look like Chris Brown!” and man

this guy is pretty funny. 

After finished eating one of the senpai bought the bubbles thingie. Yeah, that one sucks though because it doesn’t provide much bubbles ((liar!!)). Idk then we took pictures and generally just talk…………………… which is mostly done by me. 

Ha. Sucks to be you classmates, I’m having fun HERE MUAHAHAHA. I learned a lot from him today. He doesn’t really like sweet things, he once was an exchange student ((-heavy breathing-)), he likes to go to bar every once a week ((just because his friends insist)), he likes hard liquor ((HAHA)), he has trouble explaining japanese culture, he’s christian and he likes adores hot men. 

That’s it. I can’t wait for tomorrow wwwww.

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